There Red, There New, There filled with Sadness

I woke up this morning, and did what i had to do. I got dressed. And i put on my old red converse. Maybe i thought that if i had mine on, trish would want to put hers back on and we'd be friends again till the end. Maybe i didnt. You dont know. I walked around all day in those fricken incomfortalbe converse. Today i was a different person. I lashed out (not in control) at anyone i saw who associated with Trisha, and i left one of my best friends. Im ruined. Whether she cares or not. Should she? Atleast pretend is all i ask. I think thats desent enougj. Do i wanna take her up on her friend offer?Im not sure. I dont know. I guess i really really wanna be with her. But for the wrong reasons. I wanna be her friend, because i feel like i wanna pretend im in my old life, and pretend im her best friend. Its NOT like that anymore. And i THINK saying no to her was best. But im not sure at all? What you would do? Who every knows. tomorrow ill put on my red converse, walk out that door, and start again.